Sad and lonely

 

 There's a price for almost every desire. And what I desire is to have a normal life. I wish I had faithful friends, instead of a backstabber. I wish I have one big happy family, instead of a broken one. How I wish I could fit into a conversation and make people adore me.  How I wish I wasn't a boring person. How I wish I could have many friends, instead of a loner.


 Today, I would like to talk about how I felt after I woke up on a cloudy morning. There wasn't much to describe how I felt. But I felt icky, and my legs and back hurt badly. Then I felt hungry and decided to go down and cook my own food. 


 Later that evening, I check out my Facebook. There are only 4 notifications. I haven't received many notifications like before and I was getting bored. On my homepage, many new photos are uploaded. And then I don't know why somehow, I felt a twinge of jealousy. Why? Because mostly the photos are being taken with friends, huge grin and make funny faces to make it look cute. Just like this..

 I wish I could do the same, but me and my best friends are always being separated. One goes to Damansara, another is in Sabah, and the latest one is..I think she found someone new. Because we seldom talk on FB.


 I don't mind if the three of em have found a new one--the past years we were together was awesome. I've lost count how many times I've wanting to meet them. And I was always wondering if they realize how much I miss them. Wondering if they also are missing me, as much as how I miss em.

 Sometimes, in school, I always think what kind of friend am I? My theories says I;m a boring friend. It came to no suprise as my classmates always ignore me whenever I'm alone. Or should I be the one that needs to talk to them? How I wish I could fit into a convo to replace my broken puzzle piece, to fix the emptiness that has been here for so many years.

 I just felt like that. PEACE NO WAR.

 Cinta manusia, akan mati

 Cintakan bunga, akan layu

Cintakan ALLAH, kekal abadi

If you think I'm making up this story or just being a drama queen, you are wrong.

My advice? Love your friends, treasure them forever. 

Fighting with them maybe normal, but who knew maybe your relationship with them are leading to a serious breakup.

MARK MY WORDS. (Y)